Temptation.

Mood- self deprecation.

When I picture temptation, I get a mental picture of demons with swords and weapons fighting angels all around me, who are desperately trying to get my attention. They are vastly outnumbered, and sadly I am counted amongst those against them too many times. They fight hard for me out of the love that God has for me, yet I do nothing to fight the temptations. I don't call out for help, I don't turn away. I face the temptation and do what I want. So much so that a root of temptation has now become a tree, and Satan need not tempt anymore, but just remind me of sin. One little thing and I'm right back to the worst in me. I act like some sort of spiritual warrior when people are looking, but I don't fight. I ignore God as much as I can so that I don't feel guilty, and I only let him in when I'm done sinning and I feel comfortable with him again. What kind of sick relationship is this that I have created with Him? Should I not turn to him in my hour of need, instead of these sinful comforts? They do not cease the pain, they ease the pain. For a while. Then it comes back worse than ever. I wish I could say this is the moment, the night when everything changed and that from now on I make an honest stand against the evils of this world and the other, but I know that it will be harder tomorrow than it was today, and I will eventually fall. But this IS the moment, this IS the night when I look to God to pick me up, instead of using comforting sins to make my pit more like home. God, help me to be someone who fights, and never turns over against your will. Make it only as hard as I can bear, Lord, and please do not surpass my limits. From a human deserving no mercy or requests of help, I beg for forgiveness and strength. That's all for tonight. Outtie.

Favorite things- Dumbfoundead, Jeremiah 20:11, Chiddy Bang.

Least favorite things- Internet lag, Danger Close Noob Tubes, Temptation.